(i) The wrong Christmas Present

This is the story of Albert who is still single, although he was once engaged to the beautiful Eva.

Why was the engagement broken off? That was the salesgirl Edith’s fault. Albert had decided to buy some gloves for his fiancée. He also asked the salesgirl to recommend a nice present for his sister Josephine. Edith suggested latest silk panties. He asked Edith to gift wrap these special presents and attach the appropriate name to each. Unfortunately, Edith was distracted and put the wrong name on the gifts. So it was Albert’s fiancé Eva who received the panties and sister Josephine the gloves. This would have been OK if Albert had not gone to the trouble of writing Eva a carefully-worded letter to accompany his gift. The letter read as follows:

Dear Eva,
I wondered for a long time how I could make you happy and show you my love. Then I noticed what you needed most – see the attached parcel.

How I would love to be there when you first put them on. In fact, how I would enjoy putting them on you myself.

Note that I purposely bought a size smaller as they will stretch over time so they’ll sit just right.

The choice was very difficult. There were long ones available, but I thought the shorter the better, some had fur lining that would have been warmer, but soon spring will be here and I know that you won’t wear any then.

At first I wanted to buy you leather ones with special patterns, but then I opted for smooth material.

I would appreciate if you take good care of this present, so please don’t lose them, be careful when you are out not to leave them lying around.

You’ll also notice that I purposely chose to buy you a pair with a zipper, in case you are ever in a hurry to take them off.

I also think that when it gets hot, it would look really elegant to carry them in your hand. However, take care that they are not touched by people with dirty hands as they won’t stay clean for long. Use a good soap when you wash them and hang them in the sun.

You are free to exchange them, as the salesgirl would be delighted to help you try on another pair.

Wishing you lots of joy with your present,

Your darling
Albert

Adapted by Resi Schwarzbauer and edited by Herta Uhlherr from the German story by an unknown author.